Spread of Misinformation

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The ad above was recently posted to MTA subway cars in New York, because apparently there’s an epidemic of men callously spreading their legs so wide as to take up two seat spaces. And if there truly is an excess amount of guidos indian-squatting on the subway, then yes, let’s make a big deal out of it.

But I don’t think this is that bad an issue.

No, I believe this is a prime example of ‘feminists’ promoting their sordid agenda. In fact, we need to figure out another word for them, because feminism in itself, much like liberalism, is a sincere, respectful cause, and should never be treated with any sort of scrutiny. Unfortunately, there are some radicals out there who take this mantle and use it to obtain exclusivity rather than equality. So feminists, they are NOT. How about ‘cunts?’ Would that be a good word? Yeah, let’s use that.

Anyway, a bunch of cunts got together and noticed guys would tend to spread their legs a bit whilst using public transportation. And then they decided to pretend like they didn’t know why a guy would feel the need to do this (if you’re on the far end of having a clue yourself, I’ll give you a hint: they’re round, covered in scrotum, and mine taste DELICIOUS.) So they started an online smear campaign, making it seem as though this ‘manspreading’ was a little more deliberate than it actually is. Then the pedantic fucksticks at the MTA decided to be little bitches and try to appease these selfsame cunts, all under the auspice of ‘iniquity.’

But would you like to know the REAL iniquity behind all this? If the MTA were to put up ads asking women not to place their handbags on the empty seats next to them, these same women would LOSE THEIR SHIT. You’d hear all sorts of bullshit about it, stuff like, “How DARE you treat this like it’s somehow equal to taking up two seats with your legs? Don’t you know women have to constantly worry about being raped, and the only small comfort we can obtain when on the subway is knowing that a potential attacker can’t sit next to them if the seat is being used by a handbag?” Yeah, I know it’s painting with a broad stroke, but I’ve seen enough posts by fat fucking cows with horn-rimmed glasses to know it’s right there in their bag of pat responses.

So here’s the deal, fellas: spread your goddamn legs. Air those suckers right the fuck out. Maybe even wear short shorts whilst doing so (but stay out of Chelsea and Greenwich Village, just to be careful.) If you’re taking up too much space, DON’T. I’m not asking anyone to be an asshole, just don’t fall victim to this deliberate attack on the male genitalia. And if someone comes up to you and tries to tell you to stop ‘manspreading,’ you simply explain to the dumb cunt that you’ll gladly let your balls overheat the moment they put up signs discouraging handbagging on subways.

Because if you want to preach equality, you’re just gonna have to learn it fucking sucks for EVERYONE.

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