Monthly Archives: June 2015

Race Theory Will Eat Itself



Okay, so yesterday I decided to part two this convo over race, and roll it out into today. And fuck me for giving myself more work. But I think it’s important to lend perspective on this. And that’s all I’m doing, really. I see what’s going on, and posit the possibilities behind it. So don’t anyone come up to me and try and pretend that just because of my skin color I’m not allowed to have ANY say whatsoever on this subject. I know my privilege, whatever the fuck that still means. But sorry, folks; I won’t bring myself to feel guilt over something someone else did. I’own know them!

Seriously, though. Fuck anyone who says white folk shouldn’t chime in on this subject. That person is just a narcissistic asshole trying to win an argument; they have ZERO intention on trying to find a cure for racism in this country.

Anyfuck, Bill Maher had a panel the other night on his show that discussed the tragedy that recently befell Charleston, and Maher asked a simple question:

“Isn’t denying racism a form of racism?”

Sure, the context could be off-putting, depending on your feelings about the man, or the fact that he referenced some rightwingers asking questions before Dylann Roof was even apprehended. But as far as I’m concerned, it’s a pretty important question. Because if you’re one of the only-white-people-can-be-racist crowd, and your answer to Bill’s question is a resounding YES, then you’ve contradicted your whole ideology. That’s right; you fucked your agenda. Way to go, dipshit. Now you can’t go around ‘joking’ about shooting up a Starbucks because you’re pissed off at white people. And when the very same pissed-off white folks accuse you of racism, you can’t try and pathetically turn it around by saying, “Black people can’t be racist, it’s a systemic, institutionalized something something.” Because what? That’s fucking right: Denial of racism is in itself a form of racism.

But if your answer is no? Well, shit. Back to square one, I guess…

Hit The Roof

This is how Evil cuts its hair.

This is how Evil cuts its hair.

Hiya kids! Been a while, hasn’t it? Fortunately, not a whole lot of stuff has happened since last I posted, so…oh wait, I take that back. Racial tensions have pretty much prolapsed our collective anuses. Some white bitch decided it was okay to dry out her perm and put on spray tan so people could think she had at least SOME African heritage. And black Twitter simply came undone. There was no walking the fence on this shit, either. She either was an imposter in blackface, or a courageous transracial woman who’s done a lot for the African American community in Spokane, Washington, a town with a racial makeup of 2.29% black (and no, I’m not talking about the racial makeup Ms. Dolezal used to cover up her white-ass freckles.)

And then the unthinkable happened.

A bowlcutted nightmare sat through an hour-long bible study at the AME church in Charlotte, South Carolina, and then coldly murdered 9 people.

And then the thinkable happened.

People stopped being rational adults and shouted that this monster was a terrorist, and that all white people are terrorists by association. Democratic leaders and campaigners immediately brought up gun control. Republican candidates said even dumber shit. Everyone blamed everything they could think of, except for seemingly one thing: the kid who killed the people. Seriously: motherfuckers sat around speculating, even though the little bastard was still alive. Why did he do it? ASK HIM!!! Oh, he said he wants to start a race war? Well, there you have it, the only news we get. Sorry you can’t drag the truth out to fill a 24-hour cable slot.

Want a little sugar in your fury latte? It is alleged that police stopped and got the murderer/terrorist/absolutefuckhead some Burger King on the way to booking. I just hope someone behind the counter was considerate enough to duckbutter his chicken fries.

There’s more to talk about on this subject than your pathetic little ADD brains can handle. So tomorrow we’ll discuss my theory on the positive implications this horrid act -as well as Rachel Dolezal’s Soul Man remake- may have on the definition of racism, and the path forward.

Tune in tomorrow, same Fat time, same Fat channel!