Monthly Archives: March 2015

Douche Wings


Thank fuck it’s Friday, kids! Okay, by now you may have heard a little news bump here and there about a particular plane flight that smashed into a mountain due to a deliberate descent, killing all 150 passengers aboard. The co-pilot, a 27-year-old enigma from a place named after delicious mustard, locked his pilot out of the cockpit and prepared to turn a jetliner into a gravity-periled weight.

And that’s pretty much ALL you’ve fucking heard so far.

Now, ol’ Fatters is not one to be so clouded as to buy into a lot of conspiracy theories, but every article I’ve read about this horrific incident has revealed a stunningly ARROGANT lack of transparency behind this. Investigators revealed the co-pilot may have hidden some ‘medical condition’ from his employers. Oh yeah, then what was this medical condition? This is a country that makes its people go in front of a council in order to be able to name their fucking children, you expect me to believe you would worry about such disclosure?

Nope, I smell a serious degree of chickenshit emanating from this pile.

Andreas Lubitz could have been on an imbalanced blend of antidepressives and anti-psychotics. But we won’t get to hear about that, because people are worried about offending the mentally ill.

He might have been indoctrinated by a radical element of a certain worldwide religion. But we won’t get to hear about that, because people are afraid about offending the mentally il-er, said religion.

Stop being pussies and tell the people want they want to know, Germany. All this subterfuge will do far more damage than just telling the truth. Fuck your ‘ongoing investigation;’ that’s just a buzzword for ‘we’re just trying to figure out how to tell people something without really revealing anything.’ You know why it happened, now SPILL.


Sean Penn’s politics and mine have clashed over the years, but there’s little doubt in my mind he’s an intelligent and insightful person, as this clip suggests. As a moderate frequenter of Twitter, I myself have fished for attention from celebs, or went after some of the more assholish ones with a sort of backend hope that this will garner attention from people and help up my follower count. And I realize it’s pretty pathetic. However, I am one of those who believe Twitter should be used to bring TOGETHERNESS, not divisiveness. And I have, on more than one occasion, told some whiny SJW pickleshit to get the fuck off of Twitter, and sache his lame ass back to Tumblr. So I can really appreciate his candor regarding the backlash he received. How was it racist, by the way? The director is a Mexican citizen, which through legal channels would require a work visa (or a fucking GREEN CARD) in order to film in the States. It’s very similar to a car ride I had a few years back with my aunt, uncle, and their 3-year-old daughter where I was telling them about this Mexican lady I work with. My aunt stopped me mid-sentence, and said she would prefer I use some other term to describe my colleague -I worked at a Tex-Mex joint at the time- because, and I quote, “We’re trying to teach our daughter not to be racist.” A little dumbfounded, I then turned to my cousin and said, “Very well, this lady I work with WHO IS ACTUALLY FROM MEXICO…”

So Sean has the right idea here. Some people simply aren’t emotionally or intellectually qualified to decide what is and isn’t racist. And most of the time they’re just bitching for the sake of being a little bitch in hopes of baiting fellow Twitter-bitches into their bitchfest.

Also he was Spicolli. ‘Nuff said.

Who Did This Shit?


Seriously, this is fucked up. I know the Star Wars universe was a long time ago, but it wasn’t 1912, and it was in a galaxy far, far away. A galaxy run rampant with all sorts of humanoid creatures of all shapes, sizes, and colors. You have some dudes who look like shaved testicles playing clarinets? No big deal; it’s just fucking Figrin D’An and The Modal Nodes. Oh look, a giant iguana in a rebel fighter flight suit? Shit man, just Bossk doing his thang. And GODDAMN is that a fucking talking Chinese broccoli? Nah, it’s Kit Fisto. He’s a Jedi.

So in that perspective, black folks are put under the same veil as whites in the SWU. It’s nice, really. Kinda like Japan in a sense.

“But Fatters, the stormtroopers are all clones of the same dude!” you may be wondering. Well, at some point the Empire needed to round up more troops to police the galaxy. I would imagine after a while the idea of mass-manufacturing would become untenable, and they would have to resort to recruitment. Otherwise more people than just Princess Leia would have taken exception to Luke Skywalker’s short ass being in the uniform in A New Hope, wouldn’t they?

Just a quick aside, I read a similar article on Truth Revolt to this one whilst doing research (and NO, I didn’t need to do much research; my geek game is STRONG.) Some asshole chided fans for going full-on Internet racist over John Boyega’s character (seen above, lamenting the destruction of a foodstuff he’s likely never eaten.) Now while that’s all neat and good, he also pointed out to those who took exception to a black man playing a role that was generally fit by the ‘clone of a white man.’ Well, Jango Fett was portrayed by a guy who has a great deal of Māori in him, and I’m sure he would appreciate it if you noticed that shit. But hey, when you’re trying to make a point about racism, delegitimization of white people -even if they’re only half-white- is perfectly allowable, I suppose.

But you know what? I happen to LIKE the concept of this universe and it’s nonchalant attitude over color. Sure, there is some pigeonholing going on. If you’re a Hutt, you automatically must be a gangster; if you’re a Sarlaac Pit, you’re automatically assumed to be a means of slow, agonizing torture (plus you’re constantly getting sand in your throat, fuck that.) But if you’re a regular, carbon-based humanoid, you can always be captured by Tusken Raiders and sold as a slave to the spice mines of Kessel.

And THAT, my friends, is called equality.