Monthly Archives: June 2014

FIND THIS MAN

The holy fuck is WRONG with people? Man, don’t feed me shit about some sort of ‘cultural difference’ here. If your culture allows you to beat up children, then FUCK YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE GODDAMN CULTURE. I swear, if I saw some asshole doing this shit in public he’d be missing a head. Please share this with as many people as you can. If this fucker can be found, I’ll gladly provide the first punch to his little bitch face. Feel free to record the fucker for 8 minutes and 20 seconds.

By the way, his hands are so tiny I’m frankly surprised he hurt the kid with them. No wonder he had to go grab a shoe (like a bitch.)

Oh, and Happy Mondays, kids…

UPDATE: This is old news. The man in the video seen being a total bitch was arrested by Malaysian authorities shortly after this was posted to Facebook. He faced a maximum sentence of 10 years and 20,000 ringgit, which equates to roughly $6,200 in US dollars. I’d fly out there and punch him in his stupid face, but there’s NO FUCKING WAY I’m using their airlines.

Let’s Taco Bout This

gaytard

So this morning, in stark happiness of the site being back up and running, I fumbled through the Net in search of a great story to rant about. And what a day to do it, because LOOK WHAT THE FUCK SHOWED UP TODAY! A South Dakota teen who was being regularly harrassed by the manager at his menial taco flipping job was told one day he had to wear a nametag that said his name was ‘Gaytard.’ The whole day he had to stand by the register at Taco John’s wearing this deplorable moniker, to the dead eyes of many a curious-deficit and inoffendable customer. And if this actually happened, then I have one thing to say to the manager: the kid is CLEARLY gay, and you may not have noticed, but even in South Fucking Dakota it’s 2014. So you’re not only violating obvious company policy against discrimination, you’re also committing a hate crime.

Also the label is covering up like, HALF the damn logo. Way uncool.

Look, maybe a decade or more I might have chuckled at the word ‘gaytard.’ I mean, shit, a portmanteau created by an ignorant fuckhead? That’s pretty damn amazing. But I’ve since had some major life changes occur, and believe it or not, you will as well. Nowadays I don’t think it’s cool at all to poke fun at gays or the mentally deficient. I don’t want my children, should either of them end up in one of these categories, or their friends, or my friend’s children, or FUCKING ANYONE to feel delegitimized because some asshole wants to make fun of someone else in a sensitive manner. So if this truly occurred? The manager needs to be thrown in the shitbag bin behind a nursing home.

But here’s the thing:I don’t believe this actually happened.

My apologies if it did, and trust me kid, I hope you get your due comeuppance if this manager really pissed away his job so wantonly like that. But there are a myriad questions that pop up immediately when I hear about this shit (and not just, “How fucking awful is the food at a place called TACO JOHN’S?!?!”) You’re really going to tell me not ONE customer or fellow employee stood up and called that shit out? Once again, 2014. SOMEONE would have made a fuss. And I can’t help but assume this strange and overtly-white-named fast food joint is a franchise. Surely this would have been a matter that the area supervisor or corporate office would have attended to, and in the end you would still have your job, don’t you think? What the fuck does quitting and then going and crying to the news going to accomplish (y’know, besides the lawsuit and gofundme campaign?) Yeah, there have been enough hoaxes on the news lately, many of them far more plausible than this one. Hell, I would have continued my boycott of KFC to this day had they not taken the time to investigate internally, and discover that no one purchased both a small sweet tea and individual mashed potatoes and gravy in an order on the day in question. And the lesbian chick in New York who forged some guy’s check to make it say a homosexual slur? The only hole in that ploy was the guy’s word, er, HANDWRITING against hers.

Your story is holier than the Pope’s underwear.

I’ll keep track of this story for ya, kids. But odds are most people will have called bullshit at the time of viewing the newspiece, and stopped giving a fuck about him immediately. But I suspect I don’t even have to use my precognitive powers to accurately guess the outcome on this.

But if I’m wrong, I’ll eat a shitty taco in penance.