Monthly Archives: March 2014

Twice As Good As Money Earned?

bank

Happy Mondays, kids! Okay, here’s the scenario: you wake up one blustery cold morn to start your day. You opted to wait until before work to go fill your truck up rather than ALL THAT TIME you had to do it Sunday, but first you might want to check your debit account to make sure the funds are sufficient. Sure, you’re not in college anymore, and usually have plenty of funds, but you never know what transpires electronically while you sleep. Well, turns out that worst-case scenario you played out in your head that someone made a data entry error on your account came true, but with the opposite effect: you now have $31,000 MORE than you had previously.

WHAT DO?

Well, for one Georgia man, this came true. And he did precisely what 99.999999998% of the rest of us would have done: spend as much as we can until the bank realizes their error. He got about $25K in withdrawals before the bank finally caught on. Oh well, you might be thinking the biblical passage of ‘he who snoozeth, loseth’ is in full effect here, yes? It was the bank’s royal fuckup in your favor, and if that money is in YOUR account, it’s YOUR money. Makes perfect sense, right?

WRONG.

If this ever happens to you, tell the bank. Sometimes doing the ‘right thing’ is really just a good way to cover your ass.

Abort Retry FAIL

EEEWW!  Just look at that nasty, humanlike, similar-to-me creature leeching off that poor woman!  OH, THE (NON)HUMANITY!!!

EEEWW! Just look at that nasty, humanlike, similar-to-me creature leeching off that poor woman! OH, THE (NON)HUMANITY!!!

Okay, okay. I’m a liar. I told you guys from the nascence of this website that I wouldn’t try to get too political on here. And every other rant I’ve typed up has shown I’ve failed miserably in that regard. But really, how can I NOT be political, when every social or economic issue out there has been polarized to fit a left/right perspective? Don’t like assault weapons, and think they only serve the purpose of killing other humans? You must be one of those lousy libtards! Don’t like the government saying one thing and doing another? YOU GODDAMN TEABAGGERS MAKE ME SICK WITH YOUR RACIST, HOMOPHOBIC NONSENSE! Nevermind the fact that calling a person a ‘teabagger’ is pretty much an exercise in homophobia itself, since you’re basically invoking the vision of a guy placing another guy’s testicles in his mouth. And you can argue semantics all you want, but no one visualizes a woman massaging a man’s balls with her tongue when the word comes up.

Or at least I HOPE I’m not the only one.

But let’s talk about something I see all too often these days, shall we? It seems when the topic of abortion comes up, the go-to response for those in favor of the option is to somehow dehumanize the fetus in order to clarify one’s argument. They won’t refer to it as a baby whilst in utero; no, instead they use terms like ‘zygote’ or ‘parasitic organism.’ And you know what I think? That’s just fucking COWARDICE.

These fuckheads are using these talking points because they don’t want to accept what their mind’s eye keeps telling them: that there is a human baby gestating in a woman’s body. Instead they hide behind such nondescriptively inhuman words to somehow rationalize the act of killing an unborn human fetus. And that’s such the pussy’s route, it frankly astounds me that people bother arguing further semantics rather than calling them out for their bitch ways.

Do me a favor the next time you see or hear someone use these little pat responses on the subject of abortion: tell them to stop being such a worthless, self-deluding cunt and own up to their arguments. Every time they refer to it as a zygote rather than a baby, their basically trying to convince THEMSELVES, not others, that abortion is essentially murder. So own up to your bullshit ways, folks! If you think murdering babies is okay, then tell it like it is! Sure, you’ll come off looking like the lowest form of scum the earth has ever had the dissatisfaction of being stepped upon. But at least you won’t look like some unconvincing shit-for-brains who hardly believes half the crap they spew forth.

Also, kill yourseves, you useless fucking assholes. I know; it’s the unforgiveable sin. But hey, Jesus might not forgive you for it, but I sure will!