Monthly Archives: January 2014

Handi(mad)capped

wheelchair

Okay, if any of you know me from my personal FB page, you’d know I’m not a fan of the Democratic candidate for governor of Texas (greatest state in the Union!) Wendy Davis. I don’t have a problem with a lot of her claimed views on womens’ rights (although I find myself having trouble believing her sincerity.) In fact, I think it’s bad form to refer to her as ‘Abortion Barbie.’ Truth be told, the idea of turning Texas blue is one of which I am not afraid. A more progressive candidate would be far more likely to inculcate some much-needed changes to this state in order to fix many of its needs *cough*legalizepot*cough*. However, I need to know that the person I intend on helping elect is candid and honest about what they plan on doing with the future of the Lone Star state. And Wendy Davis is an admitted LIAR. So fuck her and her insincere supporters.

That being said, I’m no fan of her opponent Greg Abbott either. I pride myself in the fact that I have never once voted for Rick Perry. And I believe Abbott will just be more of the same. He’s given me no reason to believe otherwise, I might add. A true leader looks out for the welfare of his constituents, not his cronies. And certainly not himself, which is par for course with these two fucksticks.

Nah, I’m probably going to vote for Kathie Glass again, the Libertarian candidate. Her views are closest to mine in regards to how Texas should be run. And what is my grand vision? Simple. Decriminalize marijuana (dispensed by county prerogative, same as alcohol,) and legalize gambling for Texas Native Americans. The state revenue for these two endeavors should go toward increasing teachers’ salaries, and providing school breakfast and lunch for ALL public school students, not just the poor ones. Oh, and maybe we’ll try to just give schools money based on their needs and not by fucking head count, so if they need to kick their bad apples to the compost bin, they’ll be more inclined to do so rather than let them be a constant source of disruption in class (y’know, the complete opposite of how the Texas Lotto Commission’s contribution is allocated.)

But here’s the thing: the next asshole who expresses their support for Wendy Davis by mocking Greg Abbott’s disability can consider themselves the catalyst in cementing my decision to vote for him instead. Sure, years back on RevengeWorld and SteakandCheese.com I was fairly renowned for having no exceptions when it came to making fun of folks. But that was a long time ago, and I’ve not only matured, but have seen the devastation and shame friends and loved ones have experienced by being picked on for their handicaps. I dare you to find a post on this site where I’ve ever referred to someone as ‘retarded.’ And you won’t ever, because I no longer believe mental deficiency is a good vehicle for comedy. And maybe it has some to do with my gay and handicapped (now deceased) cousin Pedro -that’s pronounced Pee-dro, because I come from a long line of coonasses- that I have an intolerance of making fun of crippled people.

So when I see insensitive cows like this bitch littering her tirade with accusations of Abbott and his campaign staff being sexist, then finishing up her article with a barb about how Abbott could ‘literally stand to lose,’ I have to say to the sorry fuckers at Battleground Texas and Burnt Orange Report ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. So here it is: my pending endorsement for Greg Abbott falls on assholes like you eschewing professional courtesy and maturity by making one more off-the-cuff remark about him not being able to walk. However, and I’m not loathe to admit this, I may have to put up this pretty funny cripple joke on Wendy Davis’ page once she loses the race: “You just got your ass kicked by a guy in a wheelchair.”

Something tells me Greg might get a chuckle out of that one, too.

Abject Pleasures

"Wonder what  Jake from State Farm is wearing tonight?"

“Wonder what Jake from State Farm is wearing tonight?”

Happy Mondays, kids! Ol’ Fatters was going to talk about the big story coming out of his DFW stomping grounds today: where the Munoz family got to pull the plug on their dead daughter who was being used as a biological incubator by JPS Hospital. The hospital attorneys were interpreting ‘viable’ in sort of a skewed, macabre way. And despite my moral leanings on life before or after birth, this was simply a case of reanimating a brain-dead cadaver to give birth to a child who would likely die anyway. And shame on ANY of you useless fucks who consider this even a Pyrrhic victory on pro-choice; there was nothing happy about the outcome here (but yeah, the family should sue the shit out of the hospital.)

No, the chief story on my mind is one which I’m relatively familiar: a bitter hag woman started a website called shesahomewrecker.com, where fellow scorned wives can post the names and photos of their husbands’ mistresses. One lady was shocked to find her information on the site, and has been actively trying to have it removed to no avail. The website owner created it based on her own experience of being cheated on, and believes that there’s not a woman out there who’s never been cheated on. Furthermore, she claims legal immunity from ownership of this site due to the fact that the content is provided by other users.

But she’s wrong. And not just because she opened a forum where petty bitches can commit wanton libel for the most disingenuous of reasons.

Most of you might know my history prior to the inception of FatterDaySaint.com. But for those of you unlucky bastards that don’t, my first writing gig was doing the daily front-page articles for RevengeWorld.com, a site where we posted submissions of photos of the significant others of those who have been victims of cheating. Sure, they were naked photos, and the sidebars were riddled with ad banners of a prurient nature, but it wasn’t a porn site. No, it was a vessel for those poor, betrayed folks to post photos of the scumbags in question so random strangers could see their mangled snatchness and minute limpdickery. If someone got their jollies off the site, that was on them. Still didn’t make it a porn site. I have an old National Geographic with photos of African tribeswomen with those little finger-titties that may or may not have a sticky page or two if anyone wants to argue otherwise.

Anyway, one of the first things I was told before taking the helm of RW was that this was the ONLY site on the Sick Site Network that had been sued, and therefore we needed to pursue our content while exercising tremendous caution. And one of the FIRST things I was told to do is go ahead and remove photos if someone asks me. Granted, most legal protocol requires a cease-and-desist letter before any of the real litigious matters happen. But I did it mainly as a courtesy: after all, you NEVER know who’s full of shit in explaining their submissions. But at the very least, we never posted names. Of course, this might have been because I was a semi-professional, and not some terminally-guttered cuckoldette whose emotion-driven agenda might be clouding her better judgment.

So here’s my impassioned plea to Ariella Alexander, from one website owner to another: I know a bit about the legal implications behind your site. And to think you’re not the least bit culpable in its content is misinformed at the very least (at the very most, I’d be surprised you didn’t have a droolcup taped to your chin.) When you create a website that’s SOLE purpose is to cause friction to anothers’ character, then FUCK YES you are liable for its content. Listen, if Maizey Jones wants to post on Facebook that Hillary Brenton is a total jizz-silo for sleeping with the guy she’s been talking to, that’s one thing. Facebook is a social network designed for general conversation. You’ve actively and deliberately created a platform where the ONLY conversation is based on my example. Yeah, get to honoring requests or you’re fucked.

Oh, and the site could use more titties. Even the finger types; I ain’t here to judge.