Happy Mondays, kids! Yer old buddy Fatters usually has a great degree of respect for bikers. Often on my morning commute I’ll see a guy on his motorcycle, and I feel this deep sense of jealousy, because I too would like a good chance to die before I get to work. I know they’re out there, so I look for them (usually under Lexus SUV’s) And really, just about every biker friend I have has said the same thing: I DO NOT NEED TO BE ON TWO WHEELS. I assume this is because I’m too spontaneous, and not because they’re trying to subtly tell me I have a serious drinking problem. So, that being said, I have much envy and respect for bikers, blah, blah, yadda, yadda.
Except for these assholes.
A Manhattan man was beaten and had his face slashed by a gang of
cocksuckers bikers while trying to escape after running over the biggest asshole of them all in his SUV, in a desperate bid to get his wife and five-month-old child to safety. You may have noticed the slightest bit of bias in that last sentence, but it’s only because I’m a human fucking being. From the beginning of the video (graciously sent to us by one of the bikers, whose motive in this whole story is the only one I can possibly question,) this helmeted dipshit was steadily crowding the lane on the SUV. Then to add fuckheadedness to assholery, he got in front of the SUV and brake-checked them. When the guy stopped to check and make sure everything was okay, well, let’s assume someone cloned the first asshole a dozenfold, because his buddies decided to start damaging the vehicle. Now, I’m sure most of you would think this is the guy’s cue to step out and fight these guys like a man, and protect your wife from getting raped and your baby from getting eaten, right? And I’m sure that was his first thought, up until he realized he was in a Range Rover, and just went Canyon Guy on their ho asses.
I read about this account in the NY Post today, and was directed to the original YouTube video in the Comments Section (naturally after sifting through libtard-nazi-teabagger-faggot-nigger talk, of course.) So I sat through the whole headshaking ordeal, all 6 minutes and 27 seconds of it. And the only thing I couldn’t figure out was where the cops were this whole time. I mean surely SOMEONE -Range Rover Guy, looking at you- had one of those cellular phones you’ve probably read about on your iPhone. Maybe it’s the Texan in me, but if you’re going to insist that a man can’t protect his wife and infant child with a gun, then maybe you could bring one of yours a little more quickly.
It’s also the Texan in me to lock my fucking doors (apparently.)